In this age of constant selfies and people snapping photos of every event with their phones, I still can’t seem to relax and act naturally when someone is taking my picture. And yet I needed a picture for my blog and for a possible website and various other things authors need pictures for. Until now I’ve been cropping the rare photos family members take, resulting in very blurry and very old pictures.
The first time I had a picture taken for the humor column I used to write for our local paper, I concluded that either the editor hated me and chose the worst one of the bunch, or the rest were so horrible she couldn’t print them in a family newspaper. I was horrified when someone actually recognized me in the grocery store because she’d seen my picture in the paper because, I concluded, that must mean I really looked like that.
In general my pictures feature what my friend calls “the deer in the headlights look” because I’m trying to pop my eyes open so I don’t look all squinty the way I do when I smile.
So last week I went off to a professional photographer (https://packanackportraits.com) recommended by friends in my writing group. I loved their pictures! And she assured me she’d be able to help me relax.
In truth, I did enjoy meeting her and doing the photo session. She took me to a beautiful park where I could focus on watching people walk their dogs instead of thinking about how I looked. She said all those things photographers say like “beautiful,” and “tilt your head just a bit…perfect!” I had great confidence in a good outcome.
The problem came when she sent me the proofs.
And my goodness, that’s not what I see when I look in the mirror! Where did those wrinkles come from? And my hair—I was sure I combed it. What’s all that extra stuff around my waist? Did someone stuff a pillow in there when I wasn’t looking?
So now I have a new photo my daughter assures me is “cute” and I can ditch the one that someone took when I was gardening twenty-something years ago.
I’ll have to put it up on my various social media pages.
And then I’m going to Google plastic surgeons.