Friday, September 23, 2016

Do you believe in love at first sight? by Cheryl Bolen


Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Though I write a lot about falling in love, and have always been interested in the process of falling in love (even when I was a little girl), I don't have much personal experience about the phenomenon of love at first sight.  

Sure, there were lots of guys I worshipped from afar in my preteens and teens, but those guys never noticed me, so I don't know if my distant admiration could have ever turned into love.  

Of all the guys I dated before I got together with The One, none of them had ever ignited that all-consuming spark on first sight. 

I met The One my freshman year of college shortly after my 18th birthday. There was zero attraction on my part, nor do I think he was attracted to me then. Since we both worked on the college newspaper, we became friends. During that first year of friendship, I came to admire him. I was impressed by his intelligence. I was awed by his academic prowess. (He's the one of us who always made A's.) I came to realize what a great guy he was by the way he talked about his family. There is that old adage that you can tell what kind of a husband a man will be by the way he treats his mother. But still, there was no romantic spark.


During my sophomore year of college (in the late sixties) I started to fall in love with The One. He was the editor of the student newspaper, so he was basically my boss. I was jostling a couple of other boyfriends at the time and because of my attraction to the fellow who would become the father of my children, I dumped them. Luckily for me, he was becoming attracted to me, too. We started staying at school late, after the paper wrapped and after the others left. Just the two of us. We liked being together. One night when he was walking me to my car he got up the courage to ask me to be his date to a big formal at the college. I nearly hyperventilated.  

We've been a couple ever since.
Me--the 20-year-old bride--and The One

So, from personal experience, I feel the best love stories are friends-to-lovers. Surprisingly, I've only used that trope a couple of times--in Love in the Library (my nerd hero book) and in Christmas in Bath.  

I still like reading about falling in love at first sight. I used it in my first book, A Duke Deceived. Have any of you ever fallen in love--the lasting kind of love--at first sight?—Cheryl’s newest release is Only You, a Georgian novella that was formerly in the Ever My Love anthology with a prologue by Kathryn Le Veque.
 

13 comments:

  1. I'm with you on friends-to-lovers, Cheryl. I love your wedding picture, too. I think I believe in love at first sight, but I'm more prone to think there's a jolt, maybe of recognition, at first sight sometimes, that later might develop into the Real Thing. Like you, I didn't feel that "jolt" when I met my husband, and he didn't even like me, but I think it happens.

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    1. Liz, it seems as if you and I always have a lot in common.

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  2. Thanks for sharing your personal romance, Cheryl. I love falling in love stories. :-)

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    1. I love falling in love stories too. I guess that's why we've made a career of them.

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  3. Actually, I recall very vividly the first time I set eyes on my "forever" guy. I was attracted immediately and, being a girl/woman who always got what she wanted (worked for) I made certain he noticed me right away too. Having said that, though, I believe the notion of love at first sight is a male thing. And we know how easily they can be confused by lust. LOL

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    1. I always wished to be a girl like you, Bonnie! I was too shy. (I even covet your name. Bonnie was my first heroine because I love the name so much.)

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  4. Loved your live story! I was 14 when I first saw Karl. I immediately knew we would marry someday. We've been married 47 years and still having fun.
    Congrats on the new release!!!

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    1. Fourteen? Amazing. And rare. I've been married about the same length as you, Karen.

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  5. What a beautiful post, Cheryl! Whether love at first site or a love that grows over time -- I think we all are a lot in love with love. The new release looks awesome!

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    1. Well said, Maddie. I for sure am in love with love.

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  6. I didn't believe in love at first sight. I worked with a lady that told me 5 days a week for 2 years she had THE man for me. Finally to shut her up I agreed to go out with him for lunch. The second I saw him I was DONE! Our 1st date ended up lasting 18 hours. His 2 sisters, brother-in-law and nephew crashed the date, we all went to the movies together. 6 months later we were married. We just celebrated 23 years of wedded bliss. NOW I believe in love at 1st sight.

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  7. Love the picture of you and John. Y'all were just babies! *LOL*

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